Saturday, May 19, 2007

Everything Old is New Again....and Lame.

So I read my Entertainment Weekly today and there was a little news brief about a couple of upcoming sequel ideas. I thought I needed to share how terrible they all are.

Terminator 4 - With no Gov. Schwarzenegger.

The Incredible Hulk - Sequel to The Hulk, except replacing Eric Bana and Jennifer Connelly with Edward Norton and Liv Tyler. Norton's one of my favorite actors, but something really stinks about this project. Ang Lee's not directing again, in his place is Louis Leterrier, known for edgy action movies like The Transporter. Seems like they're going for a much more straightforward Hulk movie this time around....but something about that really bugs me. Ang Lee's Hulk had a number of problems, to be sure: it was heavy-handed, that comic frame gimmick was irritating, and it bit off way more than it could chew...but it was different. It stands out still, for reasons good and bad, in an increasing sea of superhero movies. Now Marvel's coming along and saying "Sorry Ang made the last one so cerebral! We should know better than to challenge your expectations! We'll give you your derivative Hulk film now!" It's all very repellent.

And I've saved the "best" one for last:
The Mummy 3: Curse of the Dragon - A second sequel to a movie I thought was all-around shitty, but get this. It's not in Eygpt, it's in the Far East. Jet Li is going to play an Asian-style mummy. I swear I'm not making this up. If you're going to change the thing around that much, why don't you just start a new series...or better yet, just try to make a good action movie that can stand on it's own! Oh wait, we don't do that anymore. Even Bruce Almighty has to have a sequel nowadays.

If this is any indication, the next couple of summers are going to blow.

To end this on a better note, I've brought in our second Power Metal Music Video. This is an amusing compilation of clips from The Two Towers collected by a YouTube member with the handle "Crackerasscracka." Enjoy.

Rhapsody - Flames of Revenge


Gautam said...

didn't Jet Li retire? know, after "Fearless"

Norphen said...

Not sure...there were a few conflicting accounts about that. The trailers said it was Jet Li's final film...but other articles about it said he retired only from "martial arts epics." So I guess that means the Asian mummy won't be doing any flips or things like that.