Batman: The Animated Series - Top 20 Episodes

The Dark Knight is back on the screen thanks to Batman vs. Superman, where the new Ben Affleck Batman fights the Henry Cavill Superman from Man of Steel. It's not particularly good and I don't find that surprising - these days superhero movies are so disposable that the main purpose of each one seems to be to get you excited for the next movie rather than the one you just paid money to see. Still, between hearing of its arrival and playing Batman: Arkham Knight this past winter, my interest in the character came back. So I did what I usually do - I went back to Batman: The Animated Series, which was always the definitive version of the hero for me.

All those clickbait Buzzfeed articles talk about is Boy Meets World or Hey Arnold, but this show's aged a lot better than those shows...or for that matter, most of the youth-oriented shows of that entire era. Even at the time, its exemplary storytelling, art direction, music and voice acting were a shock and made it an instant classic. More than 20 years later, I still find new ways that it influences my own writing. So while I may enjoy making jokes at Buzzfeed's expense, one thing I have learned from it is that people really like lists. With that in mind, let's count off the 20 best episodes of this timeless show. There was also a Superman animated series that was very good, but I don't know it quite well enough to put together a list like this.

20. Night of the Ninja
Written by Steve Perry
Directed by Kevin Altieri
Antagonist: Kyodai Ken

Batman can win a physical fight against most of his enemies, as long as he keeps track of their unique gimmicks and weapons. In this episode, Bruce Wayne encounters an old rival who may be his superior in hand to hand combat. Flashbacks highlight Bruce's days of training in Japan as a younger man, learning martial arts and the discipline of a samurai. Years later, he crosses paths again with Kyodai Ken, the only student who could consistently defeat Bruce in their sparring matches. There's a lot of storytelling in this half-hour, including fun action scenes and some solid scenes for Alfred and Robin. If I had made this list as a kid, this episode would have ranked a lot higher because back then a fight between Batman and a ninja was the coolest thing ever. It's still pretty awesome.

19. If You're So Smart, Why Aren't You Rich?
Written by David Wise
Directed by Eric Radomski
Antagonist: The Riddler

The writers of the series have admitted to being intimidated by Riddler stories, which required a lot of creativity to pull off. That creativity is out in full force in this debut as the villain is brought to life by a sleek design and the charming vocal performance of John Glover. Game designer Edward Nygma is cheated out of the profits for his own blockbuster game by the slimy Daniel Mockridge and decides to use his puzzle skills for revenge. When Batman and Robin get involved, Riddler lures them into a huge maze full of booby traps and tests of intellect. If you watch enough episodes of this show, you start to realize that a lot of the supervillains are created thanks to unethical corporate behavior. So if you wind up seeing someone in Seattle or San Francisco putting people inside giant puzzle boxes, it might be time to ask EA some questions.

18. Christmas With The Joker
Written by Eddie Gorodetsky
Directed by Kent Butterworth
Antagonist: The Joker

Most episodes of Batman: The Animated Series are inspired by the noirish Denny O'Neil/Neal Adams comics of the 1970s. Not this one. With its absurd plot, onslaught of puns and many giant props, "Christmas With The Joker" hearkens back to the goofy Batman comics of the 50s and 60s. Silly as it may be, it's hard not to like an episode that begins with the Joker singing the classic "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells" song we all heard on the playground growing up. Before long, he hijacks Gotham's airwaves for his very own hilarious Christmas special. Batman and Robin are forced to deal with exploding bridges and giant Nutcracker soldiers before they finally find out what the Joker's really up to. His mundane but hilarious goal is the cherry on top of this holiday treat. I may be a little biased on this one since watching it has become a Christmas tradition for my own family.

17. House and Garden
Written by Paul Dini
Directed by Boyd Kirkland
Antagonist: Poison Ivy

It's become common for writers who think they are being edgy to depict Batman as only slightly more stable than the crooks he brings in. This version went against that and created a well-rounded person who you could admire. Secretive, obsessive and plagued by unresolved trauma? Of course. But he's not a maniac and more importantly, is shown to have empathy. His compassion for his adversaries is at the core of this tragic episode. When Poison Ivy renounces her criminal past in favor of a normal life with a husband and adopted children, Batman is skeptical. After a while, however, he becomes convinced and there's a moving scene where hero and villain seem to reconcile for good. But all is not what it seems and the ending of this episode goes into some truly disturbing territory, at least for a superhero cartoon. We all want to believe people can redeem themselves, but it's much easier said than done.

16. Baby Doll
Written by Paul Dini
Directed by Dan Riba
Antagonist: Mary Dahl

Paul Dini again. Get used to seeing that name as we make our way further up this list, because he has a real gift for telling emotionally-driven stories that highlight the personalities and struggles of the characters. This one is so effective because it feels plausible. A sitcom star with a Gary Coleman-esque condition that keeps her body from aging has been hurt deeply by a string of career failures, so she decides to bring the family of her hit show back together...regardless of how the other actors feel about it. Mary Dahl's stylized appearance makes this episode somewhat divisive among fans, but Alison La Placa's amazing vocal performance makes it work. The first time Mary drops the childish act and speaks in her real adult voice will give you chills. The surreal, tearjerking ending is another example of what made this show so different from the other stuff on TV at the time.

15. Dreams in Darkness
Written by Judith and Garfield Reeves-Stevens
Directed by Dick Sebast
Antagonist: The Scarecrow

Batman getting hit with fear gas is standard procedure for Scarecrow stories, but this creative episode turns his hallucinations into a series of spectacular moments. The visions escalate from subtle frights like Batman seeing the Joker in the reflection of the Batcomputer to a trippy re-enactment of the death of his parents, complete with a giant gun with blood dripping out of the barrel. How the hell did they get that past the network censors? The Dark Knight finds himself detained in Arkham, helpless to stop Scarecrow from contaminating Gotham City's water supply with his fear toxin. If that last bit sounds familiar, it's because Batman Begins ripped off this episode for the film's climax (and tossed Ra's Al Ghul into the mix).

14. Joker's Wild
Written by Paul Dini
Directed by Boyd Kirkland
Antagonists: The Joker and Cameron Kaiser

This subversive episode pits the Clown Prince of Crime against a casino mogul manipulating him as part of an insurance scam. Dini assumes, correctly, that the audience would much rather root for a psychotic clown than a corporate dirtbag. Mark Hamill is on fire for this episode, offering hilarious voice work during Joker's suspiciously easy escape from Arkham and his antics inside the casino. Since the whole place is capitalizing on the Joker's image, he can walk around in his costume and just look like one of the employees. Only Bruce Wayne is able to recognize his laugh and heads over to the blackjack table to troll his arch-enemy in a hilarious scene, one of several spot-on character moments in this episode. Pay attention to the scene where Joker hijacks a truck - the driver is dressed just like Super Mario.

13. Feat of Clay, parts I and II
Written by Michael Reaves and Marv Wolfman
Directed by Kevin Altieri and Frank Paur
Antagonists: Clayface and Roland Daggett

This dark, powerful two-parter takes one of the more ridiculous villains from the old Batman comics and refashions him as a tragic monster. As we've seen a few times already, the supervillain may be dangerous but he's not half as evil as the unethical corporate behavior that created him. Movie star Matt Hagen (Ron Perlman) relies on the revolutionary "Renuyu" cream to hide the scars he sustained after a car accident, but the stuff is highly addictive, a fact that its creator Roland Daggett has taken advantage of to keep Hagen on a leash. As I kid I didn't realize how obvious the parallels were to real-life drug use, but Matt Hagen is clearly a junkie. When he finally rebels, Daggett's hired goons nearly drown him in the Renuyu cream, which gives his body the ability to take any shape he can imagine, turning him into Clayface. There's a B-plot about Bruce Wayne being framed that drags down the first half a little bit, but the second half is a non-stop thrill ride. Clayface confronts Daggett in the most dramatic way possible before losing control of his powers and madly transforming into his numerous screen personas. It's a breathtaking piece of animation, although I'm tempted to say that the most powerful aspect of this one might be Shirley Walker's score. She uses two separate themes for Hagen and Clayface, weaving them together to great effect. In particular, the music at the ending of this episode makes my hair stand on end.

12. Read My Lips
Written by Joe R. Lansdale
Directed by Boyd Kirkland
Antagonist: Scarface

Another example of a lesser-known villain being used to great effect, this episode pitted Batman against perhaps his strangest foe - a wooden dummy. We're not talking about some evil Pinocchio who comes to life. Scarface is the alternate personality of a ventriloquist named Arnold Wesker, a meek old man who is totally cowed by his other personality. Using a puppet dressed like a Prohibition-era mobster to express this side of himself, Scarface is a criminal genius who shakes up Gotham City upon his arrival and Batman's reaction to seeing him for the first time is priceless. Upon hearing a recording of both voices, Alfred comments that "I'd swear it was two separate people," but the characters are both played by George Dzundza. His pitch-perfect characterization, along with Lansdale's hardboiled dialogue and Shirley Walker's jazzy score, give this episode a feel all of its own.

11. His Silicon Soul
Written by Marty Isenberg and Robert Skir
Directed by Boyd Kirkland
Antagonist: HARDAC

This is a sequel to the two-part "Heart of Steel" episode where Batman was pitted against an evil artificial intelligence (HARDAC) who was kidnapping people and replacing them with robot duplicates. Those episodes were good, if not top 20 material, but they pale in comparison to this one. The opening is a knockout - Batman is shot by some thugs in a dark storage room only to look down and see circuits under his skin. This was the final duplicate HARDAC created before his destruction, but the poor creature has no clue about his origins. When he discovers the truth, you can't help but feel for him. Eventually, HARDAC gets control of the duplicate and things look grim...but maybe the robot is too similar to Batman for its own good. The haunting ending will stick with you for a while.

10. Mean Seasons
Written by Hilary J. Bader and Rich Fogel
Directed by Hiroyuki Aoyama
Antagonist: Calendar Girl

A few years after its debut, Batman: The Animated Series was moved to the WB Network. In the process, all the characters were redesigned to make the animation more consistent with Superman: The Animated Series. Most of the redesigns were fine but a few were downright awful, particularly the Joker, who looked like a deranged Animaniac. Still, there were some gems in this last group of episodes, such as this blistering satire of the entertainment industry's treatment of women. An actress (Sela Ward) finds herself discarded by the studios once she gets into her 30s and wreaks violent revenge as the masked Calendar Girl, whose crimes are patterned on the four seasons. The show is really biting the hand that feeds it here, including a spoof of the inane teen-oriented sitcoms the WB was putting out at the time and the final scene packs a real sting. There are also some sleek and exciting action sequences, including Batman fighting a giant robotic dinosaur.

9. The Laughing Fish
Written by Paul Dini
Directed by Bruce Timm
Antagonists: The Joker and Harley Quinn

Scary psychopaths are a dime a dozen when it comes to comic book stories and sometimes the Joker is written as a humorless monster indistinguishable from any other serial killer with a gimmick. The reason the Joker is such an enduring character is because he's both dangerous and funny. You enjoy his company even when he's wreaking havoc. This show always walked that line pretty well, particularly in this episode, adapted from two classic Batman stories from the 1970s comics. The Joker uses a nonlethal toxin on Gotham City's fish to give them all big smiles, hoping to copyright fish and make millions. The reality of copyright law is a rude awakening for him ("But they share my unique face! Colonel What's-his-name has chickens and they don't even have mustaches!") and begins terrorizing the hapless bureaucrats until they agree to do his bidding. It's such a bizarre, creepy and funny scheme that it wouldn't work for any other villain. While there were a lot of great Joker episodes, this one has a unique feel thanks to the polished animation, Bruce Timm's creative layouts and Shirley Walker's strings and piano soundtrack.

8. Beware the Gray Ghost
Written by Dennis O'Flaherty and Tom Reugger
Directed by Boyd Kirkland
Antagonist: The Mad Bomber

The legacy of the campy 1960s Batman show is explored in this creative episode, which features Adam West himself as Simon Trent, an actor who once played a Batman-esque character on TV. When a mysterious terrorist begins blowing up buildings in Gotham City, Batman realizes the circumstances are almost identical to an episode of his favorite show as a child - "The Gray Ghost." In this era before DVD collections and streaming video, finding episodes of the old show proves to be difficult and so the Dark Knight seeks out the actor himself. What makes this episode so heartwarming is how it illuminates a time in Bruce Wayne's young life when he was happy and even though he's been in mourning most of his life, reconnecting with this old character clearly brings some of that joy back. Given how each successive screen iteration of Batman portrays him as even more miserable and unstable, a story like this can be like water in the desert.

7. The Joker's Favor
Written by Paul Dini
Directed by Boyd Kirkland
Antagonists: The Joker and Harley Quinn

Unlucky everyman Charlie Collins (Ed Begley, Jr) is driving home from work and suddenly a station wagon cuts him off on the highway. Furious, he speeds up to the car, shaking his fists and shouting insults. Unfortunately, the driver of that car is a notorious villain. Whoops! "The Joker! I just cussed out The Joker!" Collins gasps as he tries to get away. Joker traps the poor sap in a Godfather-esque position of having to do an unspecified favor some time in the future. Years later, that day finally comes. Hamill is utterly brilliant in this episode, showing how frightening the Joker would be to a regular person but also so naturally funny that the line "look at the size of that cake, man!" becomes the comedic high point. Perhaps more important than anything else I've mentioned, this episode is also the first appearance of Joker's henchgirl Harley Quinn (the wonderful Arleen Sorkin), who became a beloved character and has since appeared in numerous Batman stories on page and screen.

6. Perchance to Dream
Written by Laren Bight, Michael Reaves and Joe R. Lansdale
Directed by Boyd Kirkland
Antagonist: The Mad Hatter

After a strange encounter in a warehouse, Bruce Wayne wakes up at his mansion to discover his whole life has changed. His parents are alive, he's engaged to Selina Kyle (Catwoman) and someone else is Batman. At first, he's as skeptical as you would expect but gets a highly convincing explanation from the trusted Dr. Leslie Thompkins that his whole past life as a costumed hero was just a diassociative delusion. The fact that he is momentarily certain that all of the pain of his past wasn't actually real is what makes this story so heartbreaking. Kevin Conroy has said that this is his favorite episode and it might be his best performance as Bruce/Batman. He captures the arc of cautious hope and brief joy that Bruce feels and also his agony and frustration when he comes across a telltale clue he can't ignore. However, he's almost upstaged by Roddy McDowall as The Mad Hatter, who has a tearful meltdown when Batman escapes his machine. It's a profound episode that captures the tragedy at the heart of the Batman legend without slipping into nihilism like certain recent movies I could name.

5. Robin's Reckoning, parts I and II
Written by Randy Rogel
Directed by Dick Sebast
Antagonist: Tony Zucco

The Boy Wonder takes center stage in this Emmy-winning, emotional look at how the bond between Batman and Robin endures even as it becomes strained over a surprise revelation. During a routine investigation, the Dynamic Duo come across that's a mystery to Robin, but Batman knows it's an alias for the mobster that killed Dick Grayson's parents. Flashbacks to when Robin was just a little Dick (sorry, couldn't resist) vividly tell the story of how Tony Zucco sabotaged a high wire act as part of a protection racket. The scene where Dick loses his parents is worthy of Hitchcock - you feel like you've seen something horrific but all you've been shown is a close up of a cut rope. Bruce Wayne becomes his legal guardian and the scene where they discuss the nature of grief makes me tear up every single time. Back in the present, Bruce is determined to keep Robin out of the fray but it isn't long before he figures out what's going on and the two partners are at odds. Despite the conflict, the loyalty between the partners is clear, from Robin's comment that he was "trained by the best" and the contemptuous rage Batman shows towards the loathsome Zucco (Thomas F. Wilson). It's obvious he hates this guy much more than the Joker. The show initially surprised some fans with their college-age Robin in contrast to the usual preteen incarnation. The elegant contrast between the past and the present in this episode proves the wisdom of this choice.

4. Almost Got 'Im
Written by Paul Dini
Directed by Eric Radomski
Antagonists: The Joker, The Penquin, Two-Face, Killer Croc, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn

This beloved episode starts with a premise that can't miss - a gang of Batman's enemies sit at a poker table and swap stories about the closest they ever got to killing the Caped Crusader. Any one of these climactic moments could have ended an episode and instead we get an episode chock full of them. It's thrilling to say the least but the bigger thrill might be hearing all these voice actors play off each other. There are enough hilarious one-liners and exchanges that I could fill this whole paragraph with them. It's not a terribly deep episode like some of the others on here, but it's a shining example of the show's creativity and willingness to make the most of the talent it attracted. It also has probably the most violent moment in the entire show - that giant coin landing on the thugs. Owch!

3. Heart of Ice
Written by Paul Dini
Directed by Bruce Timm
Antagonists: Mr. Freeze and Ferris Boyle

The other Emmy-winning episode of the show, "Heart of Ice" is typically cited as the greatest episode of Batman: The Animated Series and with good reason. Dini and Timm took one of the most ridiculous villains from the original comics and turned him into a tragic figure, setting the standard for how this character would be depicted in the future. Even the ridiculous Arnold Schwarzenegger incarnation in Batman and Robin copied some of this backstory. Victor Fries (Michael Ansara) was a scientist at Gothcorp Industries who froze his wife Nora is suspended animation until a cure for her terminal illness could be found. Unfortunately, keeping Nora frozen 24/7 must have really driven up the utility bills because Gothcorp CEO Ferris Boyle demands that the machine be turned off regardless of what happens to her. In the ensuing fight, Boyle knocks Fries into a table of chemicals and now he can only survive in extreme cold. We've seen this theme many times while going over this list, but this episode is the ultimate example of petty corporate cruelty creating a deadly villain. Or is Mr. Freeze a villain at all? It's hard not to feel for him when he describes how he'll never be able to walk in the sunshine or hold a hand. Meanwhile, the top-notch animation beautifully renders Freeze's ice blasts and Shirley Walker's music box theme for the character gives the episode much of his emotional weight.

2. Two-Face, parts I and II
Written by Alan Burnett and Randy Rogel
Directed by Kevin Altieri
Antagonists: Rupert Thorne and Two-Face

All these years later, there is no episode that haunts me more. It could have easily topped the list, but given the character, I couldn't resist placing it at number 2. One of the show's smartest moves was introducing Harvey Dent (Richard Moll, brilliant) early on as a friend of Bruce Wayne and giving him important roles in several episodes before his transformation into Two-Face. As district attorney, Dent is dead set on bringing down the mobster Rupert Thorne (the late John Vernon, also brilliant) but things get dicey when Thorne discovers that Dent has been concealing an escalating case of multiple-personality disorder. The scenes of Dent struggling with how the stigma of mental illness could affect his career as district attorney really hit home and the dialogue is just so good that you can't help but get invested. When the inevitable happens and Harvey's face is disfigured on one side in an explosion, the heartbroken look on Batman's face says it all. It's so powerful that it impacts every future appearance of Two-Face in the series. I once had a professor who told me that the appeal of the King Arthur story is that the audience always wants to believe Camelot can succeed despite knowing that it is doomed. A different kind of story obviously, but every time I see this episode I find myself hoping against reality that maybe this time Harvey Dent will work everything out. But he never does.

1. The Man Who Killed Batman
Written by Paul Dini
Directed by Bruce Timm
Antagonists: The Joker, Harley Quinn, Rupert Thorne and Sid the Squid

Similar to "The Joker's Favor," this episode shows how a figure like Batman appears to an ordinary person. A clumsy wimp named Sidney (Matt Frewer) tries to get in on the Gotham City crime scene and winds up a lookout. In the ensuing confrontation, it appears that "Sid the Squid" has accidentally killed the Dark Knight. Seeing the reactions of other characters, heroic and villainous alike, is both touching and amusing since we know there's no way Batman's actually dead. As Batman's oldest adversary, we know the Joker must be heard from and he gives a hilarious eulogy followed by Harley Quinn playing "Amazing Grace" on a kazoo. Reportedly, the dialogue for this whole sequence had to be recorded in one take because everyone in the studio was laughing too hard afterwards to do it again. Because we only see Batman through Sid's perspective, we understand the awe and intimidation he inspires in people, which is something you can take for granted when you're usually getting the stories from his point of view. His triumphant return at the end of this episode could very well be the most badass moment in the entire show. "The Man Who Killed Batman" could have served as a series finale since it sums up so much about what makes both the character and the show great.

Son of Dinosaurs

Back in the 1980s, when the Disney Channel was still a premium network, a series of dinosaur-themed specials aired that captivated kids everywhere. They were hosted by Gary Owens, a prolific DJ and voice actor who was the original Space Ghost, and writer and TV personality Eric Boardman. At the time, I was already obsessed with dinosaurs and my relatives recall me being able to spell their long names at an unusually young age. In those pre-internet times, it was much harder to find something you wanted to see if you had missed it and so you used the available technology to take the proper precautions. Son of Dinosaurs, an hour-long special that aired in 1988, had been taped onto an old VHS and that was how I watched it...and I watched it many many times. I still remember how in order to get to the beginning, you had to fast forward through footage of my family's vacation to Florida.

The shows were a mixture of educational visits to various museums and parks and silly side-stories featuring the two hosts. In one other special, Gary was actually turned into a "Garyosaurus," complete with mustache. I'm not sure why Son of Dinosaurs was the one I liked best. It might have been the novelty of its meta-premise - Gary and Eric are entrusted with a dinosaur egg that has a still living embryo inside it and decide to produce another dinosaur special as a means of doing some additional research. There was a lot of variety squeezed into this hour, including a visit to a black-tie "dinosaur ball" at a Los Angeles museum, a look at paleontologist digging sites in Alberta, Canada and my favorite bit, footage of Loch Ness that concludes with a pan under the lake's surface that seques into a stop-motion Nessie prowling around. When I actually got to visit Loch Ness many years later, that scene wasn't far from my mind.

The science in these shows is already quite dated (no feathered dinosaurs here) and I expected that they had been lost to time or restricted to bootleg VHSs like mine. But then I found out (can't remember how) that they actually were released on a couple DVDs. I recently ordered one that had three of the specials on it and obviously decided to watch Son of Dinosaurs first. Right from the first bit of footage, I got hit with a huge deja vu/nostalgia bomb. Once that wore off, it was delightful to see that it was still as enjoyable and pleasant as I remembered it. There's none of that darkness that has accompanied some of the other stuff in this series. This was just doing what good educational programming does - making learning fun. And I still want to go to that zoo in Alberta with all the life-size dinosaur replicas. That place looked awesome as a kid and it looks awesome now.

Sailor Moon

If you were a young man when this classic anime debuted in the United States, it was the show you weren't supposed to like. That wouldn't have been a problem if it weren't so good. Watching it for the first time on some lazy afternoon after school turned into a habit, a dark secret I had to keep from my classmates. Ironically, it had a lot in common with another show that was big at the time and could be watched without embarrassment - Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. Both had a "monster of the day" approach to individual episodes and both had lengthy transformation scenes that were shown every time. But in Sailor Moon, the heroes were all women, so men were forbidden to enjoy it. If you did, you were gay. In the fascist dystopia of middle school in the 1990s, where conformity was strictly enforced by the constant threat of public shame, being called gay was the ultimate defeat. However, the few times when I did let it slip that I knew something about the show, I was surprised how familiar other dudes were with it. I think this covert male fandom spread well beyond my house and yet I'm still a bit nervous about it. This is one of the few blog entries I don't feel comfortable sharing on Facebook...make of that what you will. I've gone back to it recently because of the release of a remake, Sailor Moon Crystal. I might have watched that, if not for the news that uncut versions of the original show were now available for streaming. Given the choice between old and new, I totally wanted to take a walk down memory lane. They've been coming out with two new ones every week and I've been following it faithfully.

If you've never watched the show, here's a rundown. Middle-schooler Usagi Tsukino meets a talking cat named Luna and is given the power to transform into the superhero Sailor Moon and defend the Earth from evil monsters from the "Dark Kingdom." Eventually, four other girls join her - feisty, bullying Rei (Sailor Mars), rough and tumble Makoto (Sailor Jupiter), glamorous Mina (Sailor Venus) and sweet, brilliant Ami (Sailor Mercury). I had a dorky crush on Sailor Mercury back in those days, even if she had the lamest powers (shooting bubbles? really?). Eventually, they would meet other girls to round out the Solar System, but my most vivid memories are of the first story arc, where the girls have to fight the minions of Queen Beryl. Beryl preferred to give orders rather than get her hands dirty, so most of the time the Sailor Guardians faced off against her four generals - whiny, incompetent Jadeite, suave, calculating Nephrite, vain, vindictive Zoisite and experienced tactician Kunzite. In most episodes, a mysterious male hero named Tuxedo Mask would show up to bail the girls out of a jam so they could finish off the monsters with their signature techniques.

Like other shows transported to American television in the 90s, Sailor Moon was heavily censored and altered by the US distributors. Names were Americanized and a GI-Joe-esque "Sailor Says" segment was added to the end of each episode to tell kids to eat their vegetables or whatever. Zoisite, the villain who wears a long blonde ponytail and disappears in a cloud of rose petals, was changed to a woman because of a visibly loving relationship he had with Kunzite. Having a gay romance in a children's show was ridiculously progressive for the time period and I guess the guys behind the dub didn't think American kids were ready for it. Although, now that I think of it, if Zoisite did identify as a woman, perhaps everyone treating her as such was the more progressive way to go! Just kidding, I highly doubt that was the rationale. In any case, the lack of prominent breasts on an anime "woman" should have been a dead giveaway.

The storyline that really grabbed me was the unexpected tragic love story between the villainous Nephrite and Usagi's friend Naru. On one level, it's all kinds of skeevy - she's in middle school and he's a grown-ass man - but I would challenge anyone not to be moved when he dies heroically to protect her and she lets out an agonized cry of pain. The dub couldn't reduce that moment's power and from then on, the show adopted a much tighter continuity between episodes and went from just a curiosity to something I eagerly awaited every day. It all leads up to an emotionally wrenching climax where four of the Sailor Guardians are killed in battle, leaving Sailor Moon left to face Queen Beryl on her own. The American distributors were clearly shocked by the intensity of the episodes. They cut so much content from them that the season finale went from being two episodes to one. Even with the dialogue altered and the darkest moments omitted, the power of those episodes was unmistakable and it was easy to intuit what was really going on. When she finally defeats Beryl, Sailor Moon is able to restore everyone to life on Earth although they can no longer remember each other and their adventures...until the next threat to Earth arrives, at least.

It's clear to me now that this has aged a LOT better than Power Rangers. Obviously it can't compare to more revered anime like Death Note or Paranoia Agent or Monster, but for a kid's show it's quite enthralling. I may write a follow-up to this one in a few months when I've seen more of the episodes. At some point, the series is sure to go beyond what I saw as a kid and into the later episodes which I am totally unfamiliar with. Consider me excited.

Roar

The late Heath Ledger is known primarily for playing the sullen cowboy Ennis in Brokeback Mountain and his anarchist take on The Joker in The Dark Knight. The former got him an Oscar nomination while the latter earned him a posthumous win, a first for an actor playing a comic book character, but Ledger was just that good. He got his start in 1997 with the lead role in the short-lived television series Roar that hooked me one summer before it abruptly vanished.

Roar followed in the footsteps of popular fantasy shows like Hercules and Xena, using 4th century Ireland as its locale. The major struggle was between the Celtic tribes and the invading Roman empire, although this show was far closer to fantasy than history. It treated both Celtic and Christian mythology as absolutely true, leading to all sorts of oddball plots. The unique setting pulled my teenage self in, especially when the last three episodes shown on Fox considerably raised the dramatic stakes. The next week, it was gone, replaced by Ally McBeal. I watched that for a while just because I didn't want to give up the ritual of watching at that time, but it obviously wasn't the same. This was during an era where Fox became notorious for canceling shows prematurely (with Joss Whedon's Firefly being a more infamous example). The complete series came out on DVD shortly after Ledger's Oscar nomination for Brokeback and, to my great surprise and delight, included five episodes that never aired!

Ledger plays Conor, whose family is killed by the Romans and reluctantly takes up the fight against them. His partners include Fergus (John Saint Ryan), a middle-aged badass with an epic Fu Manchu mustache, former Roman slave Catlin (Vera Farmiga, who has since become a very successful actress), Fergus's estranged daughter and Druid apprentice Molly (Melissa George), and token black guy Tully (Alonso Greer). I don't use that phrase lightly - Tully contributes nothing to the overall storyline. The writers seemed to realize this towards the end of the series since he's absent from the last three episodes. The villains are pretty far from what you expect on a show like this. I don't really know what to make of Lisa Zane as Diana, the self-appointed "Queen" of the invading Roman force. She takes a pragmatic approach to her villainy, which I like, but there's never a moment where she becomes intimidating. Her adviser, Longinus (Sebastian Roche), is the Roman centurion who finished off Christ on the cross with a mercy kill and has been cursed with immortality as a result. In the fascinating "Red Boot" episode, one of the show's best, he coerces a Roman historian to paint him in a positive light, assuming correctly that he will eventually be granted Sainthood.

It was fun to rediscover this show, but it was quickly clear that it doesn't hold up to the high standards people have come to expect in today's era of television. The tone is surprisingly inconsistent - sometimes deadly serious, other times campy and whimsical. Ledger and Ryan are the only actors who even bother with the Irish accent. The show was filmed in the Queensland region of Australia, which is very pretty but looks nothing like Ireland. The show often manages to be compelling in spite of all this - my favorite episode is still "The Eternal," the last one that aired on Fox, which features a full-tilt performance by Ledger during its epic ending.

As for the previously unseen episodes, it's mostly a mixed bag. The last episode, "Sweet Brigit," is just bizarre...not to mention unnecessary, since the penultimate episode, "The Cage," is a far better finale. Gripping, full of twists and surprisingly hilarious, "The Cage" offers an awesome ending to the Longinus storyline plus an out-of-nowhere musical number (really). Even though I was let down as a kid when it left the airwaves, I'm not sure where it would have gone in a second season after these episodes. I was surprised at the amount of closure I got from this DVD set, unlike the woefully unfinished Pirates of Dark Water. Of course, it must also be said that returning to Ledger's debut drives home just what a skilled actor the world lost when he died so abruptly. He was only 17 when this was filmed, but the talent was already there and at moments, it's almost blinding. Rest in peace.

The Nostalgia Series is done for now, but I have some more stuff coming up - another Spider-Man thing (don't worry, it will just be a one-off) and then a brand new series I'm pretty excited about. Keep reading!

The Pirates of Dark Water

Right from the first frame, this cartoon is still striking. The colorful backgrounds, swashbuckling music and totally unique character designs draw you in immediately. Created by David Kirschner, The Pirates of Dark Water is a well-written and highly polished cartoon that enthralled me as a kid. Unfortunately, the high production values that made it such a joy to watch were also its undoing, as it was canceled after two short seasons with its overarching storyline not even close to completed. Twenty years have passed since then and unless some Kickstarter project comes along, those of us who remember it will never know how it ended. Needless to say, that made revisiting the series on DVD somewhat bittersweet, although I still had a great time.

The series takes place on the alien world of Mer, which as its name suggests, is mostly ocean. The planet's ecosystem is threatened by a mysterious substance called "Dark Water" that destroys everything in its path. The only solution appears to be the Thirteen Treasures of Rule - mysterious artifacts that make the toxic substance dissipate upon contact. Ren, prince of the fallen kingdom of Octopon, has a brief meeting with his long-lost father and receives a magical compass that will lead him to the treasures. Voiced by George Newbern, Ren is very compassionate but sometimes hopelessly naive, and it's clear that he needs a crew with some street-smarts. His allies are the cranky pirate Ioz (Hector Elizondo), bartender turned powerful ecomancer Tula (Jodi Benson, who played Ariel in The Little Mermaid) and gluttonous "monkey bird" Niddler (legendary voice actor Frank Welker). The crew is relentlessly pursued by the feared pirate Bloth (a great performance by Brock Peters) and his two lieutenants, Konk (Tim Curry) and Mantus (Peter "Optimus Prime" Cullen).

It's quite a formidable cast and the actors really get some juicy material. One of the most memorable elements of the show is its collection of unique swear words. The one most people remember is "Noy Jitat!" which seems to be the equivalent of "God damn it" and even has an adjective form ("Jitaten"). Another one that comes up all the time is "Chungo Lungo," which is used so often and in so many different contexts I can only assume it's their equivalent of the F-bomb. Other ones that pop up regularly are "kreld-eaters," "skut pongo," and "Naja Dog." The characters drop these at least a dozen times per episode, making them real potty-mouths by the standards of their own world, but no kid was ever going to get grounded for running around shouting "Noy Jitat," just weird looks.

One of the great things about 80s and 90s cartoons was that a lot of them opened with huge multi-part story arcs to establish the premise. The first five episodes of Pirates of Dark Water are one of the finest examples of this - they are epic and powerful, with perfect pacing and outstanding animation. The rest of the series never quite matched up, but that's not a complaint. The show simply went from "great" to "good." Some of the more familiar cartoon tropes began to set in (there's even a Freaky Friday body-switch episode) and it obviously doesn't help that the series ends abruptly after 21 episodes with only 8 of the 13 treasures recovered. A terrible episode called "The Little Leviathan," in which Ren befriends a googly-eyed pink sea serpent, is an embarrassment. Thankfully, that's the only episode that deserves harsh criticism, and the rest of the show is consistently entertaining.

Unlike some other stuff that has been featured in this series, this cartoon doesn't address real-world issues head on...or so I thought. I had an epiphany during one episode that showed some dark water seeping out of a crack on the ocean floor. It looked strikingly similar to footage from the 2010 BP spill and I said out loud, "Oh my God, the dark water is oil." (Perhaps I should have busted out a "Noy Jitat.") This is obviously a lot more subtle than something like Captain Planet and as a kid it went completely over my head, even though this show debuted only two years after the infamous Exxon Valdez spill in Alaska. As an adult, I really enjoyed that subtext and it helps preserve that same sense of seriousness I enjoyed as a youngster. What can I say? I like my cartoons with a bit of bite.

So what's next for Nostalgia Series? Well, if those chungo lungos at Disney ever release the rest of Gargoyles, we'll do that. But until then, I think the next installment will be our first live-action entry, the short-lived Heath Ledger show Roar.

I also want to do another more in-depth series soon, like I did for Iron Maiden and Satoshi Kon's films. Any ideas?

Samson and Sally

I know I keep teasing The Pirates of Dark Water, and that one is in progress, but in the meantime I suddenly remembered another major piece of my childhood. I hadn't thought about this tiny little Danish animated film in years, but when my wife was singing "Baby Beluga" to my newborn son Andrew recently, all of a sudden images from it flooded back. The movie actually has nothing to do with that song, but I think my parents bought it for me because I was listening to the song all the time and would probably enjoy a cartoon featuring whales.

Samson and Sally, sometimes given the subtitle "The Song of the Whales," was released in the United States on VHS back in 1990 but has become more obscure over the years and has still not seen any sort of digital release. However, I was able to find the entire film on YouTube and watch it for the first time in about 20 years. Even though I hadn't seen for ages, I had watched it a lot of times back when I was kid, so the entirety of it was instantly familiar. The movie is a coming-of-age story featuring an albino sperm whale named Samson, who becomes best friends with Sally after her pod is slaughtered by whalers. In fact, a lot of whales die in this movie...including in one sequence that's almost a shot-for-shot underwater remake of the legendary scene in Bambi. A lot of children's films from this era were pretty grim, including Disney films like Oliver and Company and the entire filmography of Don Bluth (especially The Land Before Time, which I must have watched 500 times growing up). Something about the 1980s had a lot of animators feeling hopeless about humanity and the world and there's a stark sense of futility that hangs over the second half of Samson and Sally.

Eventually, Samson embarks on a quest to find none other than Moby Dick, who is a mythic figure to the whale community. To find the great white whale, he navigates through numerous man-made hazards like oil spills and barrels of radioactive waste. The environmental message in this film is not subtle - the first oil spill sequence is absolutely harrowing as the whale pod makes a mad dash underneath the sludge, hoping that they can hold their breath long enough to make it. Just after that, the camera pans up and we see just how huge the spill actually is. When Samson finally finds Moby Dick, the movie turns downright dystopian. The ancient whale, now so feeble he can't even catch his own food, lives in a sunken New York City. You gotta give the writers credit for showcasing the potential consequences of global warming decades before that term was so common. It's obvious that Moby Dick isn't going to be any help, so a disillusioned Samson has to return to Sally and the rest of his pod and then just get by as best he can. The ending is sort of happy, although there's not much hope in it. On this most recent viewing, it left me with a powerful feeling of melancholy.

It's becoming very clear that the one thing that unites everything featured in this series so far is melancholy. Even that ridiculous Felix the Cat movie had a bit of a dark edge. As a kid, I learned unusually early that the world was a harsh and unfair place. When the entertainment I watched didn't reflect that, it didn't stick with me very much. But when it did, I never forgot it. It felt like someone was showing me the world as it actually was. The movies and shows I latched on to helped me deal with loss that was too overwhelming to address directly at the age I was at. Now that I've sought these stories out again, they are having a much different effect. They help me see the overarching narrative of my life a little more clearly, which is something I really was hoping for when I learned I would be a father.

I just can't understand when people complain about children's shows or movies being "too dark." Obviously it would be a stupid idea to show a kid something like Martyrs or Cannibal Holocaust, but insisting that children only consume entertainment that is completely vapid and saccharine strikes me as profoundly stupid. For a kid who was dealing with overwhelming darkness and too shy to reach out for help, this stuff was there for me. I felt heard. Would you take those healing experiences away from me just for the sake of your squeaky-clean delusions?

Felix the Cat (1989)

Well, this goes to show that digging up past fascinations doesn't always work out. I found a lot to appreciate about Casshan and was ultimately blown away by Teknoman, so I felt good tracking down this animated film that utterly enchanted me one night when I was about 7 or 8 years old. But...it's actually quite atrocious.

I'm not talking about the ancient Felix the Cat cartoons, those are an essential part of animation's early history (his first appearance on screen in Feline Follies was almost a decade before Steamboat Willie introduced Mickey Mouse). This feature-length film was a 1980s effort to revive the character for a new generation of youngsters growing up in the Disney Renaissance of that era. That comparison is not very kind to this particular film - it's no Beauty and the Beast. The freewheeling storyline places Felix in an adventure ripped right out of Star Wars - he gets a magical transmission from a princess in distress, who is in the clutches of a half-man half-machine villain.

One problem early on is that Felix just won't shut up. Despite his origins in silent cinema, any time he's on screen he's squawking away in that chirpy voice of his. Puns and pop-cultural references abound - in one bit, he tells the skull of a dead miner that it needs a Big Mac. Living creatures have no awareness of their privilege. But his constant jabbering is just one example of how the movie is just so busy, like they're afraid any pauses will lose the attention of the little kids. You still see this attitude today, especially in the Dreamworks animated films. But there may be something to this approach since I distinctly remember being thrilled by this when I saw it as a kid.

I think it was the very storytelling I now regard as messy or incoherent that made it so appealing. In its own bonkers way, it's very imaginative and colorful. It was something I might have imagined as a kid. The suggestion that a movie made by a studio full of professionals probably should be more competent than what an eight-year-old can dream up was not something I considered. Speaking of that, I miss playing pretend. That was really fun.

Academy Award predictions will be coming very soon (ceremony is this weekend). I have The Pirates of Dark Water on deck for the next installment of the Nostalgia Series. Hope to see you then!

Teknoman

"War isn't about numbers. It's about people. Never forget that."
-Sgt. Miles O'Rourke (voiced by Bryan Cranston!)

Teknoman (originally called Tekkaman Blade in Japan) was a show I caught just at the right time. It's life on American TV was brief and only about half of the show's roughly 50 episodes were even aired. It was shown on UPN at 7:30 am on Saturday mornings. If I hadn't been up early one of these mornings, bored and looking for a distraction, I might never have seen it at all. I followed it faithfully until suddenly it wasn't on anymore. That was always a tough adjustment for a kid in the 90s - we didn't have the internet to keep us all so informed about show cancellations and schedule changes and all that. So when I heard almost twenty years later that the whole show was on DVD, I jumped at the chance. It was an obvious candidate for the next installment of this "Nostalgia Series," although I'm not sure what to write about next. Maybe The Pirates of Dark Water? I'll entertain suggestions.

I don't think I could have articulated why the series grabbed me so instantly when I first saw it. After watching the whole show recently, I have a better idea. I already said in the Casshan entry that anime tends to lay the drama on thicker than American cartoons, especially during the era we've been talking about. This show has an overriding feeling of futility, desperation and true struggle...feelings that were all very familiar. Despite all the robots and aliens, this show was much closer than other cartoons to the world that I knew. There was also the music, this awesome techno theme that introduced and concluded each episode. I loved that theme. I remember putting a microphone up to the television speakers to record it so that I could have it on tape and listen to a grainy recording of it whenever I wanted. Thankfully, now we have YouTube.


I chose to watch it again with the English dub because that was what I remembered. It's the exact same one from the 90s and it commits most of the sins that drive hardcore anime buffs up the wall. Character names were Americanized. A feminine-looking male character was passed off as a woman (though with anime, the lack of massive cleavage on this "woman" is a dead giveaway). A bunch of James Bond-esque one-liners are delivered during battle scenes and I'm almost positive they were just grunts in the Japanese version...if I ever hear the phrase "sticky situation" again, it will be too soon. There was also a bit of censorship, but that's been undone for this DVD version. Still, after the first couple of episodes, I was nervous this was just going to come off as a hunk of cheese and not be the experience I remembered. However, the show's underlying power could not be diminished.

In the far future, Earth is at war with an alien race called the Radam ("Venomoids" in the English version). The show focuses on a group of elite pilots and mechanics called the Space Knights. This team has an uneasy relationship with the Allied Military Command, which is led by an authoritarian asshole named General Galt. One fateful evening, the Space Knights encounter a man who goes by the name "Blade" and has a crystal that allows him to become an armored warrior. Blade is more than the typical sullen anime hero, he has a serious case of post-traumatic stress from the experience that turned him into a Teknoman.

It is eventually revealed that Blade's real name is Nick Carter, and his entire family encountered the Radam during a benign space exploration. The Radam are highly-intelligent small parasites that seek out hosts to carry out their conquests. Before traveling to Earth, the Radam had enslaved a race of huge arachnid creatures (called "Spider-Crabs" by Earthlings) to serve as their infantry. Humans that encounter them are turned into Teknomen, brainwashed into servitude and assigned to lead the armies. Blade escaped before his transformation was complete, gaining the powers but retaining his free will. The others weren't as lucky, meaning that the evil Teknomen that Blade finds himself up against are all his loved ones - siblings and friends of the family. He may be able to save the Earth, but he'll have to destroy everyone he cares about to do it.

One of the best elements of the show's writing is that it always feels like the odds are totally against the heroes. The enemy Teknomen are much stronger than Blade, and on the rare occasions they are defeated, they learn from the mistakes and come back even tougher. The fact that Blade's original metamorphosis was interrupted comes with dire consequences. Any longer than 20 minutes in the suit and the brainwashing process starts again, threatening to turn him against his allies. Eventually, the Space Knights also discover the transformation is slowly causing his body and mind to deterioriate.

It's all a powerful metaphor for the horrors that come with war - most shows that pit the heroes against an extraterrestrial enemy aren't this honest about it. The human costs of war are hammered home over and over again, sometimes at unexpected moments. A sequence where Blade and his love interest Starr are exploring gets dark quickly when she finds a dusty, bloody doll underneath a pile of rubble. It says a lot without saying much at all. During the 1990s, it was likely intended as a commentary on the past rather than a dire warning for the future...but it certainly feels prescient today. I suppose the era doesn't matter in the end. That core message will always be releveant - the eventual winner of any war is Death.

Casshan and Me

If the eight Spider-Man entries weren't a clue (and the next one of those is imminent), I've been on a bit of a nostalgia kick for the last couple of years. Some psychologist could probably come up with a theory about a need to try and make sense of my childhood, which wasn't typical, by revisiting the most significant entertainment for me at that time. I'm not really sure, but I do find it interesting to look back at these movies, TV shows or comics and see what impact they might have had on me as a writer.

The character Casshan (or Casshern) was first introduced to Japanese audiences in a 1970s anime series, but that wasn't the version I saw. In 1993, the story was reimagined as a four-part limited series called Casshan: Robot Hunter. The Sci-Fi Channel edited this series into a two-hour film and showed it on their "Saturday Anime" feature, a weekly treat that introduced a whole generation of American kids to the very different kind of cartoons that got made on the other side of the Pacific Ocean. I tuned into Saturday Anime often, but it was always mixed in with the more traditional cartoons I was into at the time. I'd usually flip back and forth when one went to commerical, but Casshan was the first one that really held my attention. I was about 11 or 12 and had never seen an animated story with this level of intense action and drama. It absolutely blew me away. It starred an android in a dorky/awesome outfit whose preferred combat move was a karate chop that could split a robot in half. He also had a robot dog that could breathe fire. What more could a kid ask for? My mother happened to walk in during a scene where Casshan shouted "Damn you!" to his nemesis, the Black King (Android BK-1). She expressed her surprise and I indignantly replied, "Mom, this isn't for kids."

Rewatching it so many years later was an emotional experience. That distinctive style of late 80s/early 90s anime feels iconic at this point and I even kept the cheesy English dubbing on because that was what I remembered. I was able to recall how magical this was for me as a child, but as an adult it's clear it's not quite a masterpiece. The storyline lifts shamlessly from Terminator, Star Wars and a little bit of Mega Man. Characterization is barely given any thought. The boobilicious outfit worn by Casshan's love interest is ridiculously impractical for a war zone. The environmentalist elements of the story make less sense the more you think about them - why would the Black King resort to using nuclear weapons if he's so concerned about preserving the planet?

However, those are the comments of a movie buff with thousands of films under his belt. Sometimes I feel like my younger self's reaction is the one that deserves more attention. Indeed there are moments of real drama within this two hours and the ending is grandiose and moving in a fashion that only anime can pull off. My firsthand knowledge of how powerful this film can be for a child gives it a special kind of value that can't be compromised by any standard cinematic/storytelling flaws.

The character has been revisited a few times now, first in 2004 with a bonkers live-action adaptation simply called Casshern. Then in 2008, a depressing and SUPER angsty reboot called Casshern: Sins discarded most of the canon. Seriously, I'm talking dangerous, potentially toxic Kingdom Hearts levels of emo. It didn't speak to me the way the original did, but it might for some kid out there who could stumble upon it...

Right around this time, I also got my first look at other anime shows out there, including Teknoman (which will probably gets its own entry after I rewatch that). A couple of years later came the one-two punch of Dragon Ball Z and Satoshi Kon's Perfect Blue. After that, there was no going back. But my fondness for anime, and perhaps for animation in general, can be traced right back to Casshan. Who says cartoons rot your brain?