Let the Punishment Fit the Crime: Catherine O'Hara plays an amoral attorney who gets arrested in a backwater town for a dispute over her license plate. With the help of her hapless public defender (Peter MacNicol with a ridiculous wig) she hopes to beat the rap because the sentencing in this town is very harsh. "Cruel and unusual" doesn't even begin to describe it. It's an irreverent take on crime and punishment that, because it's the 1990s, shoehorns in a reference to frivolous lawsuits. Thankfully, the infamous McDonalds hot coffee suit isn't mentioned. B
Only Skin Deep: Not to be confused with "Only Sin Deep" from Season One, this is the story of a serial abuser named Carl (Peter Onorati) who meets a masked woman (Sherrie Rose) at a party. He ignores all the red flags, including that she's in no hurry to take off the mask. You can probably already see where this one is going, but Carl is such a bastard that the audience is very excited for him to get what he deserves. Rose gives her character a nice spooky edge that sets the whole mood. B+
Whirlpool: Frequent Stephen King collaborator Mick Garris directs this meta episode, which unfolds mostly in the offices of EC Comics in the 1950s. After submitting a subpar story for Tales From the Crypt, the writer (Rita Rudner) is fired by her tyrannical boss (Richard Lewis) and finds herself in a weird time loop. It's a quick and entertaining half hour but it doesn't really make much sense. Is there any connection between the Groundhog Day stuff and the comics? Doesn't seem like it. I would have rather seen more of the Cryptkeeper getting frustrated during a house renovation and installing "scare conditioning." C+
Operation Friendship: Tate Donovan plays a meek programmer named Nelson who even gets pushed around by his hyperactive imaginary friend Eddie (Peter Dobson). As the phantom interferes with Nelson's romance with a psychologist (Michelle Rene Thomas), the first half of this episode feels like a totally different show. But then we get an idea of just how evil Eddie actually is. It's all pretty interesting if you try and determine exactly what's going on in Nelson's head, but despite having a psychologist character the episode isn't at all interested in that perspective. B-
Revenge is the Nuts: A facility for the blind is ruled with an iron fist by a ruthless tyrant (Anthony Zebre) who plays cruel games with the residents, even rolling marbles down the hallway when they're trying to walk. The group of blind protagonists (including Teri Polo and Isaac Hayes, who naturally gets to make a Shaft joke) is finally pushed too far and some righteous revenge follows. It's a good episode with interesting ambiance that casts most of the proceedings in an eerie dark blue light, but these more grounded tales of vengeance are getting a little old. Hopefully we'll get some more monsters at some point, that would really be "the nuts." B
The Bribe: Terry "The Stepfather" O'Quinn plays a straight-laced fire marshal with a grudge against the strip club that once employed his daughter (Kimberly Williams). He dismisses their bribery attempts but when that same daughter badly needs money, he heads down a dark path. It's well-acted and well-shot with a sensational double twist ending that is classic EC Comics. The Cryptkeeper begins this episode by doing a pretty good impression of Richard Nixon. I'd be curious to hear his Trump impression, although if we're being honest, he looks more like Kellyanne Conway. B+
The Pit: A dumb but somewhat amusing riff on Bloodsport. Mark Dacascos and Stoney Jackson play cage fighters who are constantly harangued by their showbiz girlfriends (Debbe Dunning and Marjean Holden) who were once fighters themselves. The guys are friendly rivals but the girls absolutely hate each other. So once they're roped into a "Malaysian death match," they wonder if maybe the women ought to be doing the fighting. The actual fight scenes are quite good (not something I thought I would say about a Tales from the Crypt episode) so it's strange that the finale is left unresolved. The episode doesn't so much end as simply run out of time. B-
The Assassin: Of the EC Comics stories I'm familiar with, this is not one I imagined would work for an episode. It's told entirely in first person narration and is essentially one scene. The writers must have agreed and so they wrote a completely different story while holding on to the name. It didn't turn out so well. In this version, a crew of asshole FBI agents barges into the home of a housewife (Shelley Hack) and are convinced her husband is actually a deadly assassin. It's a total mess with a twist that's easy to see coming (and far worse than the one in the comic). At least it gives Cam Clarke a chance to do another uncredited voice over so that's something. Maybe it was all because the Cryptkeeper was distracted, as the Grim Reaper (William Sadler) turns up at his tomb. "He drinks all my liquor and all he talks about is himself!" D+
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