(cartoon by Bill Bramhall)
The first shooting of the day took place at Enrichment Insurance at about 10 am, just an hour after Tim had sat down at his computer and started his daily tasks. He didn’t recognize the man who had burst through the door with an assault rifle, but it must have been someone with a grudge against the company. You had to expect this sort of thing in his line of work. Tim and most of his colleagues crawled through the maze of cubicles, just as they had done about three weeks earlier, and were able to get to the exit when the gunman had his back turned.
Not long afterwards, the police had arrived and the shooter was dead along with three of Tim’s co-workers. He made his way to the employee parking lot alongside Chris, who sat in the cubicle next to his.
“Pretty lucky this happened on a Friday, right? Now we get an early start to the weekend.”
“I guess,” Tim replied. “It’s kind of a mixed blessing, because now we’ll have to finish today’s work on Monday.”
“Not me,” Chris said with a smile. “I’m headed to Aruba this week.”
“Are you really? That’s great, man. I’m so jealous.”
“We’ve been looking forward to it so much,” he continued. “Sunshine, the beach, no work, no chores, no shootings. You can really relax in a place like that.”
“Have an extra pina colada for me,” Tim said as they went their separate ways. As he opened the door to his car, he let out a loud sneeze. The early spring allergies were in full force. Before leaving the parking lot, he called his wife Carol.
“Hey. I’m out early today because of the shooting.”
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Can you stop at the grocery store at some point today?”
“Yeah, that’s no problem,” Tim said. “I think I’m going to stop at the pharmacy too. My allergies are terrible.”
While browsing the aisles at the grocery store, his phone began to vibrate. It was Brent, a childhood friend who had recently moved out of state for a new job. They still kept in touch, being just old enough so that they actually spoke on the phone sometimes rather than exclusively texting.
“How’s it going, dude?”
“Not bad,” Brent said. “I got out of work today because of a shooting so I’m just hanging around the house.”
“No kidding!” Tim said with a chuckle. “I did too!”
“Just one of those days, I guess. You playing any good games lately?”
“Not so much. The new Zelda comes out in a few weeks so that will be fun.”
“Hell yeah,” Brent agreed. “That game’s going to take over my life for a few months, I just know it.”
“Same here. I hope my kids will understand,” he said facetiously. “Well, I’m just getting to the checkout line so I’ll talk to you later.”
Just as he was pulling the credit card out of the machine that took the payment, gunfire rang out again. He and the cashier both ducked out of sight.
“I don’t need a receipt,” Tim told her. With that, he awkwardly pushed the cart towards the exit doors while trying to stay out of view. It was a bit like a “duck walk.” Hopefully nobody was getting him on video.
Once he was outside, he spotted a familiar face making his way towards the store. It was his neighbor Gary.
“Hey there, Tim.”
“How’s it going, Gary?”
“No complaints.” He peered in the windows and noticed the pandemonium. “Shooting, huh?”
“Yeah,” Tim grimaced. “Got out just in time.”
“I guess the groceries will have to wait,” Gary replied. “Did you guys ever figure out what was eating your vegetables?”
“I’m thinking it was a gopher,” Tim said. “I was out in the garden yesterday and I found a few little holes in the dirt. I’m not sure how you get rid of them, other than blowing the whole thing up like in Caddyshack.”
They both had a good laugh at that. “How about you, Gary? How’s your family?”
“A little rough, honestly. Will is really having a hard time with anxiety.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Tim said. “Is he seeing a counselor?”
“We’ve tried,” Gary said with a sigh. “I can’t find any that are taking new patients.”
“That’s rough. Keep at it though, hopefully something will open up. I’m gonna stop at the liquor store quick before I go home. It’s been that kind of day.”
“I hear that,” Gary said. “I’ll see you around, Tim.”
Tim wasn’t sure exactly what he was looking for, just something to take the edge off. He didn’t drink often but it was sometimes a nice way to ring in the weekend. He picked out some Irish cream and was making his way over to the register when the nearby bottles suddenly exploded. The liquor splashed all over him as he threw himself to the ground while the familiar sound of assault rifle fire went off once again.
A liquor store? This was a bit unusual. He heard the shooter and the older man at the cash register arguing and deduced that this was a recently fired employee. It sounded like the man was willing to pay the guy to stop shooting, so hopefully nobody would end up dead. He didn’t think he’d be able to get to the register anytime soon, but he really had a hankering for the Irish cream.
Briefly catching the eyes of the cashier, he gestured to the bottle in his hand and placed a $20 bill on a nearby shelf. The cashier nodded and Tim made his way to the door. The shooter noticed him but didn’t do anything. He didn’t seem interested in taking out any bystanders, thankfully.
Back in his car once again, Tim noticed the strong smell of vodka coming from his shirt. He had really gotten covered when that bottle was hit. It the police happened to pull him over, he would be in big trouble.
The last stop of the day was the pharmacy, but Tim noticed several police cars in front of the place. It was probably another shooting. For now, he hoped there was still some allergy medicine somewhere at home, at least enough to get him through the next day or two.
Right as he got home and pulled into the driveway, his phone buzzed with a notification. There had been a shooting at the elementary school where his two children were. Thankfully, it was a short drive away. It was truly remarkable just how persistent these school shootings were. They had added rooftop snipers to the building after the last one and these gunmen were still finding a way in.
Allie and Justin were waiting outside when he pulled up. He hugged them both and the three of them quietly made their way back to the car.
“Did you have a good day at school? I mean….aside from that.”
“It was fine,” Allie said. “Let’s just go home.”
Tim couldn’t blame them for being a little grouchy. At least they could spend the rest of the day at home playing, petting the dog, and just trying to relax. He was grateful for the chance to change his soiled shirt and recline in his favorite chair. Carol arrived home after a few hours.
“How was your day?” Tim asked. “Any shootings?”
“Just one,” she answered. “I was going to get coffee before work but I saw the cop cars and kept going. No big deal, I just had to use the Keurig cups at the office.”
“I had four. Well, five if you count the school.”
“Wow, that’s a lot.”
“Yeah,” Tim sighed. “But what can you do?”
The sun went down and it was time to get the kids ready for bed. Hopefully the coming weekend would calm everyone’s nerves a bit.
“Have a good night’s sleep,” he told them. “Tomorrow’s another big day.”
